Pinned It Down With A Silver Pin
by Lacrimula Falsa
Summary: Tony remembers everything except that he's in love with Steve. He remembers radio jingles from twenty years ago but not three years of marriage. But Steve won't give up on their relationship. Even if Tony tells him too. [For 2018 STONY MCU Bingo, "Amnesia". Steve/Tony, AU, complete.]


**Pinned It Down With A Silver Pin  
** _by Lacrimula Falsa_

 _Summary:_ Tony remembers everything except that he's in love with Steve. He remembers radio jingles from twenty years ago but not three years of marriage. But Steve won't give up on their relationship. Even if Tony tells him too. [For 2018 STONY MCU Bingo, "Amnesia". Steve/Tony, AU, complete.]

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and/or any other Marvel franchise. I do not own Lumiere's music. I write for fun, not for profit.

 **Fair warning:** This story has an open ending and nothing is resolved. There probably won't be a sequel. I don't give you context. I believe that the story benefits from that but if – like me – you hate reading this kind of story, you can hit that back button now.

 _A/N:_ Written for the "Amnesia" prompt on my 2 _018 STONY MCU Bingo_ card. Set in the sort of AU where the Avengers are a misfit family and live in Tony's tower because I miss those.

Title from the song "Fair and Tender Ladies" by Lumiere. You can find it on Youtube: /watch?v=ZegM9F9kqPs

My bingo card with all filled prompts can be found here: lacrimula-falsa DOTdreamwidth DOT org SLASH 4105 DOT html (just fix the dots and slash)

* * *

~ If I had known before I courted  
That love had been so hard to win  
I'd locked my heart with keys of golden  
And pinned it down with a silver pin ~

"Tony, sweetheart, open your eyes."

"Steve?"

And there's not even the faintest glimmer of recognition in Tony's eyes. Steve feels like the weight of the German Alps is crushing his chest.

The walls of their (former) bedroom are plastered with pictures, print-outs of photographs, camera footage stills and sketches he made himself when Steve couldn't find either.

It's every date they've ever been on.

Tony walks over to the wall behind the bed and picks up one of the pictures.

"This is us."

"Yes. That's–"

"Dates? That we went on?"

"Yes."

Tony turns around, sadness writ large around his eyes and mouth, deepening the lines in his face.

"Steve, you've got to stop."

"No."

Tony sighs and sits down on the bed. He looks tired and pale. It wrenches at Steve's heart that he's the reason for that. But he can't. Give up. He'd give Tony everything he has and then some but he can't give him that.

"Sit with me?"

Steve doesn't want to be in this room. He doesn't want to sit on their bed with Tony with the pictures taunting him from the walls. It was bad enough when he looked at them while putting them up. But he sinks down onto the mattress anyway, because he's helpless to deny Tony anything he really wants.

He's surprised when Tony takes his hand.

"Steve, you can't do this anymore. Every day you drag me away from what I'm doing to show me a different thing. A different memory. They _told_ us this part of my memory might not come back. We've tried everything. I've _let you_ try everything. I went to therapy and tried hypnosis and worked with Stephen and went to _Asgard_ with you. But I've got no energy for this anymore. With Pepper gone I need to find a new CEO for Stark industries, I've only got two Iron Man suits that are operational and they're outdated pieces of junk, the board is hounding me about the dropping stock and Reed still needs help closing portals and building the equipment to do it. I haven't had a full nights sleep in almost a year. I'm always tired but I'm especially tired of _this_. I'm not superhuman, Steve, I can't split myself into five of me."

"But you're my _husband_."

Steve's surprised how calm he sounds. He wants to shake Tony and scream. Or cry and shake him, doesn't matter.

Tony puts a hand on his face, looking at him for the first time since they came in here. There's a sharp crease between his brows that didn't use to be there, just like the grey hair at Tony's temples. Steve leans into the touch unconsciously even though he doesn't want to let himself be placated. He looks away, not wanting to face the new lines in Tony's face and what they mean.

"But I don't _remember_ that, Steve. In my memory we are _friends_. Not even very good ones. I don't remember any of these dates, just like I don't remember any of the other things about us."

"But you're my husband."

Steve knows they're not the right words. But they're the only ones he has. Because they mean so much more than just a legal status and a piece of paper. They mean everything. Most important promise he ever made.

 _Till death do us part._

That's what he swore and his ma raised no oath-breaker. He's not _ever_ going back on that.

"You're my husband and I'm not giving up on that."

The hand on his face tightens and Tony turns his head so Steve has to look at him. His eyes are hard.

"Then as your _husband_ , I am asking you to stop. Just _stop_. Let it go, Steve."

Tony's out the door before Steve even has a chance to open his mouth.

Steve puts his head in his hands and cries.

* * *

 _A/N:_ Sorry? Comments are a dream come true.


End file.
